And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
