I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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