Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
