I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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