do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
