i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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