Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
