Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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