at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
