Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
