I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
