Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
