Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
