I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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