please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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