I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
