I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
God, I missed his penis.
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