I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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