Who did Billy Mays play for?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
