Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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