Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
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