Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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