Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
