My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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