Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
