After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
