You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
