I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
false alarm. still invincible.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
