This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
