you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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