I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
