Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Randomize
