apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So vagazzling was a success
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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