Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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