Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
In other news, I just burned my penis
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
