i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
