As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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