I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
