we have officially lost it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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