whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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