Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
