i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
