Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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