either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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