my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
