Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
