the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
