You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
