Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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