Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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