If i come over, it means nothing
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
