He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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