the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
