i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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